Friday, 21 February 2014

Twilight Flight

Escaping the Twilight Zone

Here in Britain we've been experiencing one of the wettest winters in 100 years. Winter had seemed to be never ending - the dark days, even darker nights, chilly temperatures and above all rain, rain, rain and more rain. We have been deluged. With the rain came overcast and continuous days of greyness with hardly a spark of sunshine breaking through. It's hard to get through winter that have been as long this one. It made me think of struggle. More immediately, those struggling with floods and its after-effects and the heartache it causes or those struggling with other internal emotions that through their own darkness often can't see the light. Sometimes, I myself, feel like I'm living in twilight - never quite reaching the joy that I believe should be in my life. But I do try and my faith pulls me along and constantly my heart is drawn to God's light.

Drawing of barn owl in flight with moon
© 2014 Angela Cutler. Twilight Flight. Pencil, oil pastel on paper.

I live just outside London, on the edge of the countryside and one dark night driving along a country lane bordered by fields I saw a ghostly waft of white feathers silently flit across the road infront of me and then to land as light as a dancer on a fence post. It was a barn owl. As quickly as she had flitted across the road, I had sped past, but the image and the beauty, once again. was ingrained on my mind...and in my heart. Even if it was only seconds - it was a moment of sheer beauty and delight.

Sunday, 9 February 2014

On Wings Like Eagles

When I started this blog early last year I had intended to update it regularly with many of the paintings and drawings I had started to create. However, as is usual other things in life seemed to divert my attention, but I promise to update far more regulary from now on. For those who like some background, I had spent the last 20 years working in a stressful professional environment as a graphic designer and internet administrator with a long and tiring commute in all weather on public transport. All my energy seemed to be spent focussing and then recovering from my daily grind and although I tried not to, health issues started to compromise my life and I came to a realisation that something had to give. At one point, I thought it was me...I had come to the end of my physical tether. I have always been a very independent woman brought up on the good old protestant work ethic, but after much soul searching I decided to quit my career, downsize and change my life. I am very fortunate to have a very supportive husband who for years could see my creative spark which for me had been lost through administrative tasks, reports, budgets, corporate graphics and deadlines. He encouraged me to take this sabbatical and re-ignite the spark!

Eagle drawing - Isaiah 40:31
On Wings Like Eagles © Angela Cutler

I didn't know at that point almost 2 years ago now, if I still could draw or paint or even if I have the creative vision or enthusiasm to do it having not done very much at all in the interim. And in actual fact, I found the 'idea' of starting quite daunting...what if I failed? There was only one thing to do and that was to try. I started out not even knowing what materials to use...paint and if so what type, pastels, pencil, large, small. I didn't know. So I just started off with what I had in the house - pencils, pastels and some craft paint. I started to find pleasure in the process without worrying about what the end result would be. I was encouraged to see some lovely abstract art works appear which I found very satisfying as I felt they were expressing a little bit of my private feelings. I will post some of these early faltering steps soon.